Late Night Doritos: A Pale Imitation

Having never really, truly had one of those nights that involved many bars followed by a devil need for something either, or preferably both, greasy and fatty, I can’t say I truly appreciate the late night food run to the biggest hole-in-the-wall in the area.

Hell, if I’m being completely honest, I’ve only been drunk once in my entire life.  Sure I’ve been warm and fuzzy, but there was only one instance way back in May of 2001 that I truly enjoyed wondering why I couldn’t stand up, or when I laid down when my body would stop rotating around my head.  I was trying to drink away the inevitable second opinion of my Multiple Sclerosis, but I learned I’d rather have a neurological disease than deal with the effects of alcohol.

I can appreciate good, cheap Mexican food though.  And these new Late Night Doritos chips may taste of a taco or a jalapeno popper, but they are a pale imitation to the real thing.  Where’s the fun of getting the taste of a jalapeno popper without the scars of a burnt tongue caused by the cream cheese napalm?  And very few things can replace the crunch of a fresh taco shell, followed by it falling apart on your plate.  They are integral experiences to the food!

Instead, what you get are Doritos covered in what tastes like generic taco meat seasoning or jalapeno dust with a slight hint of dairy.  If I had to choose between the two I’d recommend the Late Night Tacos at Midnight over the Late Night Last Call Jalapeno Poppers for the singular reason that the Taco chips actually retain their taste.  After a handful of the popper chips my mouth adjusted to the pepper and I was left with the very average corn chip that is the base for all Doritos.  They’re not bad, and better than the fiascos that were Hamburger or Mountain Dew Doritos.

Although, maybe if I was drunk I’d enjoy them more.

Chutney Joe’s – Chicago

Wall Decor @ Chutney Joe's

There are pros and cons to Chutney Joe’s in the South Loop.  Pro?  Because it’s not a buffet there’s no way to gorge yourself on samosas and pakora.  Con?  Because it’s not a buffet there’s no way to gorge yourself on samosas and pakora.

Coming from a background of a life full of Indian buffets, the idea of such a limited selection of dishes is offputting at first.  When you’re used to paying 8.95 for an all-you-can eat dive into gluttony, the 6.99 for 2 dishes and some rice raises plenty of alarms.  And the thimble of chutney they “generously” give you only made the alarms louder.

It’s too bad, too, because the food is good, if limited.  The menu is comprised of 4 meat dishes and 4 vegetarian dishes.  The samosas were well blended and not greasy.  The spinach paneer had a nice kick.  And while the gobi potatoes were more cauliflower than potato, the spices were still a nice touch.

It all ultimately comes down to the price (and the stingy chutney amounts).  The restaurant itself does look like a renovated Chipotle, a goal the owner has stated he was trying to achieve.  The location is perfect for college kids looking for a better meal than the other fast food in the area.  And as I’ve said, the food is good.  Maybe for a quick fix until you can find a buffet to attack, Chutney Joe’s is perfect; but if you’re used to buffet amounts at affordable prices, Chutney Joe’s isn’t for you.

511 S. State St.
Chicago, IL 60605
(312) 341-9755