Cheetos Cheezy Salsa Mix Cheetos

I fully support and approve this new delicious surprise from Cheetos. I look forward to trying their Super Cheezy Mix as well. Good luck finding them though. It took me going to a Downer’s Grove suburb to find them at the Jewel there. I haven’t seen them anywhere in Chicago.

*Update* Just found them at a local CVS, so they do exist within the city proper.

Midnight Snack – “Fried” Cheese Sticks

In case you weren’t aware, when you try eating healthier some things are forced to go by the way side. For some people, that’s drinking. For others, sweets.  For us, it’s fried foods. There is no greater treat than biting into the grease pocket of a freshly cooked mozzarella stick or onion ring. To this day, I still miss Red Robin’s cheese sticks now that we’ve moved to the city.

It’s been a goal of mine to try and find some type of equivalent that wouldn’t also destroy our goal of losing weight before our wedding next year.  And needless to say, it’s not all that easy. My first attempt was a resounding disaster, using a Weight Watchers recipe that relied on using brown mustard to coat the mozzarella sticks.  The result was a gooey mess that tasted more like mustard cheese than a cheese stick.

But then I stumbled onto this recipe from The Hungry Girl while flipping through her book one day at the local Borders.  Tucked in between recipes for a substitute for Carl Jr’s Cap’n Crunch Milkshake and other “healthy” alternatives I figured it couldn’t hurt to try it.  I mean, I already destroyed a perfectly good block of cheese with the weight watchers recipe, what was one more possible recipe fail?

And you know what, nothing will replace the perfection that is deep fried cheese. It’s not possible.  Saturated fat fried in more saturated fat is not a flavor easily replaced.  But this recipe does a pretty good job.  It retains the saltiness and the crunchiness along with the all important cheesiness.  At less than 200 calories for a single serving of 4 cheese sticks, it’s a pretty quick and easy snack.

“Healthy” Mozzarella Cheese Sticks

Ingredients

• 2 pieces light or reduced fat string cheese
• ½ Fiber One Cereal or Panko Bread Crumbs
• ¼ tsp salt
• ¼ tsp black pepper
• ½ tsp parsley
• 1 tsp oregano
• ¼ tsp granulated garlic
• 3 Tbsp Egg Beaters
• low fat marinara sauce (optional)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. If using Fiber One, grind in a processer to a breadcrumb consistency (if using panko, skip this step).  Put the breadcrumbs and spices into a plastic bag and shake to mix.

Cut string cheese in half so you have 4 sticks.  Place cheese sticks in a bowl with the Egg Beaters, swirling to cover.  Transfer to the bag with the crumbs and shake to cover completely. Repeat the process of dipping the cheese sticks in the Egg Beaters and then the breadcrumbs 2 more times or until completely coated.
 
Spray a baking sheet lightly with nonstick spray. Place the cheese sticks on the sheet and lightly spritz with the nonstick spray. Bake for 10 minutes, or until the cheese just starts to ooze.

Serve immediately with the marinara.

Spinach, Rice & Feta Pie

You ever take a vacation and feel like you ended up worker harder away from work?  That’s how my week of staying home turned out.  While teaching myself to make proper seed starter, barm and rye bread, I was also helping Fritz Pastry open their doors, designing their menus, and helping out wherever I could.  If I learned one thing that past week, its that trying to open your own place, no matter the size, ain’t no joke.  I applaud them for pulling it off.

It also meant that we ate out nearly every night.  When it wasn’t Chi Town Pizza, we checked out the Tilted Kilt, or kept some out of town guests full by stuffing them with local favorites (and Fritz Pastry).  But now that Katie and I are both back on a normal schedule, with a few pounds gained, I’m back to cooking meals for the week.

To help get us back to our normal overweight status, I took a recipe from one of the many Weight Watchers books we have sitting around.  Most people, I think, just blow off Weight Watchers (probably because of their history), but they do have some pretty tasty recipes if you take the time to look.  This spinach and feta pie is just one example.  It’s technically closer to an egg white quiche than a pie, but I’m splitting hairs.

I did adapt it a little more to our tastes.  I used fresh spinach in place of frozen.  We’re just not a fan of the slightly soggy texture frozen spinach has.  I also had extra feta cheese thanks to a BOGO sale, so I bumped that up to 8 oz. instead of the 4 oz. called for.  And really, more feta is always a better option.

Spinach, Rice & Feta Pie

• 2 tsp olive oil
• 3/4 cup chopped onion
• 2 tsp AP flour
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp pepper
• 1 1/2 cups fat-free milk
• 2 cups cooked brown rice
• 4 oz. feta cheese (8 oz. if you’re feeling cheeky)
• 1 large egg, lightly beaten
• 2 large egg whites, lightly beaten
• 10 oz. chopped spinach
• 2 Tbsp grated Parmesan cheese

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.  Heat the oil in a large saucepan over medium heat.  Add the onion and saute for 3 minutes.  Stir in the flour, salt and pepper.  Gradually add the milk, stirring with a whisk until well blended and lumps have been removed.  Bring mixture to a simmer and cook for 1 minute or until slightly thick, stirring constantly.  Remove saucepan from heat, and stir in cooked rice, feta cheese, egg, egg whites and spinach.  Stir until the spinach has wilted.

Pour the mixture into a greased 9-inch pie plate.  Sprinkle the Parmesan cheese over the pie.  Bake for 35 minutes or until set.

Serves 6.

Cheetos GIANT

I love Cheetos.  I’ve waxed poetic about them time and time and time again.  It is, without a doubt, my all time favorite snack food.  When I started seeing the commercials for the new GIANT Cheetos, I went on a search for them that envied my current search for Pepsi Throwback.  Well, at least I found the GIANT Cheetos.  Although, to be honest I should probably reserve the all-caps version of GIANT for when I find the GIANT Cheeto that Gizmodo was gifted with.  Or does that quantify GIANT-ASS CHEETO?  And is it weird that I still want to make way through that block of styrofoam-like corn substance?

Until that time, I’ll have to make do with silver dollar sized Cheetos instead.  Guess what?  They taste like Cheetos.  Well, to be fair, they taste more like Cheetos Cheese Puffs, with just a little more initial biting needed.

What makes them worth purchasing?  Well at 59 cents, they’re only 80 calories.  Sure 50% of those calories come from fat, but for a Cheetos-holic like myself, that’s still better than going through an entire bag of Cheetos in one sitting.  After the orange dust has settled, you still get your fix without the post-cheese guilt.  Unless you buy two or three or possibly four of these packages because you feel the 5 Cheetos they provide you is merely a tease for a bigger bag.  I’m happy to say I was not one of those people…this time.

I can’t say the GIANT-ASS CHEETO and it’s cheesy brethren will be so lucky if I find them.

Butternut Squash Ravioli with Citrus Sage Sauce

Butternut Squash Ravioli w/ Citrus Sage Sauce

When I get an idea in my head, it’s hard to let go.  Some people like to call that “obsession” or perhaps “OCD,” but I like to think of it as inspiration slowly beating me into submission until I finally act upon it.  I’ve always wanted to make my own pasta.  I love the taste of fresh pasta compared to the stuff you buy in a box.  There’s just something that makes it taste…better.  But, I always procrastinated because I didn’t have a pasta roller to cut down on the work I would ultimately have to do.

It was then that I realized that I was complaining about the hard work that ultimately goes into making pasta.  Sure, making pasta dough is easy, but MAKING pasta used to be a long, laborious project.  Old Italian women, I’m assuming, had arms that could crush baby bears because of their upper arm strength after making pasta for their family.  And they did it more than once I week.  Here I was, complaining about a little elbow grease.  And I wouldn’t make it easy on myself either.  Why make some regular ol’ pasta when I can attempt to make a ravioli?  I was never known for starting small in my endeavors.  If I’m going to fail, I’m going to fail BIG.

So I pulled out the rolling pin and decided that this weekend I would finally tackle a long-time project.

Next time?  I buying a pasta roller.  There was something inherently zen in spending 3 hours to roll dough to 1/8″ thick.  You get lost in it.  But after the first 90 minutes, you start to realize how sore your arms and back are.  2 hours in, I realized that the palm of my hands may never recover.  But hell if I was going to quit.  The ravioli kept coming.  1 dozen.  2 dozen.  3 dozen.  By the time I was done, I had nearly 4 dozen ravioli, and enough filling to probably make another 4 dozen.

The sauce is the easiest part of this meal.  I personally thought the flavors all went well together.  Katie wasn’t so big on the ginger or citrus sauce, but to each their own as they say.  This recipe was a combination of a couple different ideas (here and here), and some hit or miss guesstimating on my part.  I will definitely be trying again, if only to get the herb and spice ratios right.

Butternut Squash Ravioli with Citrus Sage Sauce
Ravioli Recipe makes up to 3 1/2 dozen ravioli depending on size.
Citrus Sage Sauce serves 4

Dough:
2 Tbsp chopped fresh sage
2 1/2 cups unbleached flour, pre-sifted
1/2 tsp salt
2 eggs
water

Filling:
9 oz cooked butternut squash purée
1 oz grated parmesan
1 tsp ground nutmeg
1/3 tsp freshly minced ginger
1/2 cup fine ricotta cheese
1 Tbsp sage leaves, chopped
Salt and pepper

Orange Sauce:
Juice of 2 large organic oranges
2 oz butter
6 sage leaves
1 inch ginger root
Salt and pepper

Steps:
Start by preparing your pasta dough ahead of time. Sift the flower and salt together. In a separate bowl, mix the sage, eggs, and 1/4 cup water. In a food processor, pulse sage, eggs, and 1/4 cup water until the sage is fine. Transfer the egg mixture to a stand mixture and gradually beat in the flour and salt. Add more water as necessary to obtain a stiff, but workable dough. Knead the dough for 5 minutes, transfer to a bowl and let sit, covered for at least 20 minutes.

To prepare the filling, mix together all ingredients in a food processor.

Use a pasta machine if you have one, otherwise roll out the dough by hand until it is 1/8″ thick. Use either a ravioli maker, or use a medium sized round cookie cutter to cut out an even number of circles. Please 3/4-1 tsp of the squash mixture in the middle of a round of ravioli. Use water to brush the edges of each ravioli and place a second round of ravioli on top. Seal by pressing on the edges so that they stick. I also used a fork to crimp the edges while they dried.

Cook them in salted boiling water for 3-4 minutes or so, until the dough is Al Dente. If you are not eating them right away, let them dry for 2 hours, and then refrigerate until needed. Cook in boiling water for 14-15 minutes, until Al Dente.

Serve the ravioli with the orange sauce.

Butternut Squash Ravioli

Recipe – Vegetarian Fiesta Con Queso Soup

Photo courtesy of Biggest Menu

Fans of Panera soup may recognize this soup. Every other year or so, around the fall season/Chrismas time, Panera unleashes what is easily their best soup ever. You heard me right. EVER. Ask around. Ask the people I spent 6 months working with, enslaved inside the Christmas Around The Mall store, where it was ALWAYS Christmas. Even well into the middle of January, there we were wishing everyone a Merry Christmas.

And if you think the bargain hunting BEFORE Christmas was bad, you never saw the people wondering if the 5 dollar ornament that was already 75% off was going to drop even further in price.

Although, to be fair, some of my best memories come from that store, and it’s also where Katie and I ultimately ended up becoming a couple. Even if it was much to the chagrin of the other employees.

But Panera’s Fiesta Con Queso soup was our addiction. We were there every day it was offered, sometimes buying 2 or 3 extra bowls to have at home during the week. It was like heroin for cheese junkies. The next winter, they didn’t release the seasonal soup and I made it my goal to find a suitable recipe replacement. Searching around the internet, I finally found a recipe that comes pretty damn close to the original, if not slightly spicier.

This dish may be high in vitamins, but be forewarned; it’s all butter and cheese. This is your daily saturated fat. It may be your weekly saturated fat. But that’s what winter soups are for right?

Fiesta con Queso
8-10 servings/5 quarts

1/8-1/4 cup butter or margarine
1 cup onions, diced
1/2 cup carrots, diced
1/2 cup celery, diced
1 clove garlic, minced
1/3-1/2 cup diced roasted Anaheim chilies (I use 1 medium sized pepper)
4 vegetarian vegetable bouillon cubes (extra lg. cubes)
4 cups hot water
2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese
4 tablespoons flour
1/2 cup boiling water
1/2 lb sliced good quality American cheese
1 (14 1/2 ounce) can diced tomatoes
1/4-1/3 cup roasted red peppers, julienne then roughly chop
1 (15 ounce) can whole kernel corn, drained
1/4 cup hot sauce
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin

1. Over medium heat melt butter or margarine in a 6 quart stock pot, add onions carrot and celery and saute until onions are transparent and carrots have softened, add garlic toward the end and allow to soften (about 2 minutes), remove from heat.
2. In a blender combine sauted onions, carrots, celery and garlic with roasted anaheim chili, 4 cubes of bouillon and 4 cups of hot water– puree.
3. Return vegetable puree to stock pot and place over medium heat, add both packages of cream cheese stirring until completely blended with vegetable puree.
4. In seperate bowl blend 4 tablespoons of flour with 1/2 cup of the warm cream cheese and vegetable puree mixture to get out lumps then stir in 1/2 cup boiling water, combine with contents of stock pot.
5. While stirring the pot bring contents to a boil.
6. Allow contents to boil while stirring for about 2 minutes then simmer.
7. Add the 1/2 lb of American Cheese a couple of slices at a time until melted.
8. Once cheese is melted incorporate the can of tomoatos (with juice), roasted red pepper, corn, hot sauce, cayenne pepper and cumin.
9. Allow to simmer for at least 1 hour stirring occassionally to prevent burning.
10. Serve and enjoy!

Eat It! Celebrating Eating Challenges – Day 4

Schiappa's Pizza Challenge

*It would help if I actually pressed publish on this article.  Sorry for the delay*

This is the kind of challenge after my own heart.  Yes.  Even I would have a hard time trying not to attempt to eat a 29″ pizza.  Of course, being a vegetarian, mine would have to be either all cheese, or covered in veggies.  But seriously, I think if I don’t eat the entire day, I could TOTALLY do this.

And, it’s only a quick, several hour drive away to try out Schiappa’s Pizza Challenge in O’Fallon, Illinois.  Slap some spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms and onions on there, and I’d be good to go.

Don’t try to fool me with logic, and tell me that no one should try and eat their half a nearly 30″ pizza in 30 minutes.  Don’t try and warn me about my heart literally exploding from my chest in a spray of congealed mozarella cheese.

That’s how much I tend to crave the pizza.  I’ve nearly finished off entire large stuffed pizzas by myself.  It’s an unhealthy, but unavoidable addiction.  But there’s something about the cheese and the bread and the sauce that leaves me helpless to what I still consider to be the perfect meal.

Maybe 29 inches is too big for you.  Pointer’s Pizza offers a smaller pie that you may find doable.  It’s only 28 inches.  And you get an hour.  The main difference being, it also weighs over 13 pounds.  That’s a lot of damn pizza.

And you have to wonder if the restaurants are setting you up for failure.  They don’t announce the type of crust you’ll be up against.  A 28 or 29 inch pizza would be much easier to handle if it were a thin crust over a thick crust or pan pizza.  The bread alone would make it hard to finish the thicker the crust got.

But seriously.  It wouldn’t stop me.  And 500 dollars as a prize?  That’ll probably cover the trip to hospital in my celebratory ambulance ride.

Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Crackers

Kraft Mac n Cheese Crackers

*UPDATE* – I had a second bag of the crackers, and they were definitely more crackery.  While still not my favorite cheesy cracker combo, I would actually rank them higher than the original Cheez-It’s.  Apparently I don’t hate them that much, since I just finished off an entire box for “dinner” yesterday.

Is it somehow possible for a cracker to be both crunchy AND chewy, as if it just spent the entire day in a sauna with a bunch of old business tycoons?

I ask this because that’s exactly the experience I had today when I finally tried the Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Crackers.  Maybe the little snack pack I tried was a faulty batch, but damn if it wasn’t one of the grossest experiences of my life.  It was as if someone had powdered stale oyster crackers with the “magical yellow cheese powder” of our youths.

I have a couple more snack packs, so I’ll definitely be eating them a second (and third) time.  Maybe if I wish REAL hard or pray to the Cheesasaurus Rex, my second experience will be better than my first.

But if not these definitely fall to the bottom of cheese-flavored cracker list, right under the original Cheez-Its.  No one has come close to dethroning the Cheez-It Twisterz for the heroin-like grasp they have over me.

As an aside, does anyone else find the commercial for the actual crackers a little weird?  I mean, eat a cracker and get blasted by a golden shower of cheese?  Um.  Ew.

Breakfast in Cracker Form? Bacon, Egg & Cheese Combos!

We make jokes about how foods that shouldn’t necessarily be mixed together fairly often on Two Bites.  I’m a firm believer that we do not need potato chips that taste like hamburgers or tortilla chips that taste like Mountain Dew.  Of course I’ll try a majority of them, but that doesn’t mean that I think they should actually exist in real space.  They should exist in our jokes and in the theories and dreams of INCREDIBLY high college kids.

But, alas, I am in the minority.  I must be, because otherwise things like Bacon, Egg & Cheese Combos wouldn’t be on the market.  But they are.  So I am.

I’ve only seen these at my local 7-11 so far, so I cannot guarantee that the more adventurous people out there will find them at their local convenience and/or grocery stores.  I CAN guarantee that if you eat an entire bag in one sitting, you will have the overwhelming aftertaste of dirty feet taking up a place in your mouth.

And yet, I can’t necessarily tell you not to buy these.  Because they are oddly addicting.  Disturbingly, disturbingly addicting.  They’re not bad.  But they’re not good.

They’re just weird.

A small sampling of a half dozen coworkers resulted in the very same conclusion.  “They’re just weird.”

Vegetarians need not worry, because aside from cheese, I don’t think there’s a natural (read Bacon) ingredient in these crackers.  Yet somehow, in some sin against nature herself, they taste exactly like a Dunkin’ Donuts breakfast bagel.  It doesn’t hit you at first, most likely because when you open the bag they smell overwhelmingly like cat food.  But once you pop a few of these breakfast sandwiches of the future into your mouth, you’ll be remiss to disagree.  The bacon flavor is surprisingly subtle, and while you can’t pick necessarily pick out the egg and cheese flavors, your mind is registering all the flavors that the bag tells you are there.

These are the kind of crackers that bars need to start putting out for people.  It’s the ultimate hangover snack.  You’re getting all the greasy spoon flavor in the tiniest of salty crackers stuffed with a cheese-like substance.  I’m talking to you Chicago holes-in-the-wall, gastropubs, and dive bars.

Other ideas that we’ve come up with?  Mashing these Combos down with a rolling pin and breading, and then deep frying chicken.  Serve these with my Cheetos-covered Potato Chips, and life as you know would explode in a world of flavor unlike any you have ever seen before.

Or maybe that’s your heart exploding from extremely high blood pressure.

Cake For Breakfast? Now You Can!

Thanks to my friend Jen for passing this link along. If the meat cake wasn’t enough cake shaped protein for your hungry hearts and clogged arteries, someone has come along and created the breakfast cake.

A single serving of this cake will bring you eggs, peppers, sausage, cheese, onion, and bisquick.  And love.  You’ll also get a healthy dose of love.  And most likely cholesterol.

Read all about it, and see more pictures over at Veripolis.