Consumer Reports: “Why Your Favorite Fast Food Sucks/Rules”

The newly released Consumer Reports article isn’t going to shock anyone in terms of what they discovered when rating the fast food world of burgers, pizzas, tacos and chicken. It may shock you to learn that they think (insert your favorite restaurant here) in fact does not have good food, and why the hell are you eating there anyways?

In n’ Out ranks highest, which even I, a non-meat eater, would tell you. The burgers just look better than other chains. Not to mention their fries and shakes are outstanding. I would also tell you that Burger King ranks the lowest purely because of how awful the (late and not missed) BK Veggie tasted.

But go on! See for yourself! What’s your favorite fast food restaurant?

For the record, I can’t disagree with CR’s toppers. Although I do enjoy Baja Fresh if I can get it over Chipotle. So take THAT Consumer Reports.

McDonald’s To Offer Individual McNuggets

When I first heard the rumblings that McDonald’s was going to be offering up individual McNuggets for a mere quarter in some markets, all I could think of was this Chris Rock moment from the classic I’m Gonna Git You Sucka:

I guess ultimately it’s no different than going into LJS and ordering one hushpuppie, but somehow ordering just one McNugget seems….weird.

Taco Bell’s Volcano Taco

Taco Bell

Of course I had to try Taco Bell’s new Volcano Taco, or at least the Lava sauce.  I’d be lax in my duties if didn’t at least try it once.  So during all the running back and forth between the city and the suburbs, I stopped off at a Taco Bell and got myself a bean burrito with the lava sauce instead of the normal bean burrito sauce.

Two things come to mind:

1) I can’t say the lava sauce is any hotter than the fire sauce they already offer.  In fact, it may be less hot because the cheese is cutting the bite.  Sure, there’s a nice lingering burn, but it definitely didn’t make me leak smoke from my orifices or need to splash Pepsi on myself (more than I do now anyways).  All in all, it wasn’t amazing, but it was a decent alternative to the normal sauces.

2) I believe that “Volcano Lava” refers to what happens to your stomach after eating the sauce.  I didn’t eat again until 10:30 that night because I was convinced that the lava sauce had actually eaten through my stomach lining.  If THAT is what Taco Bell wanted as an end result, this sauce is named perfectly.

Next Week is Eating Competition Week!

The Homewrecker post was such a big hit with friends and web people that I’ve decided for the next week (possibly two), I’ll be featuring all the eating competition and disgustingly oversized meals that have been forwarded my way.

If you have your own personal favorite, send me a link at twobitesinsuburbia at gmail dot com.  Stay tuned for ice cream sundaes that fill a sink, 29″ pizzas, and various other things that will make you wonder how this world remains over populated when so many people obviously want their very own murder by meal.

That's a BIG burger

Episode 2: Not Responsible For 2nd Degree Cheese Burns

Get the new episode here! Or subscribe on iTunes (Pretty please?)

The Least Researched, Most Opinionated Podcast About Food in Chicago!

Two Bites in Suburbia returns for an action packed second episode as we discuss feedback from the premier episode, our favorite desserts, and Mike rants on about the stupidity of people on the internet.  We also review Veggie Bites, Miss Asia, Just Indulge and Berry Chill.

Notes And Links

• Two Bites In Suburbia
• Listener Feedback
  • Subscribing on iTunes
• Keith Olbermann’s Countdown
• Do chefs hate Vegetarians?  Part Two
  • Gordon Ramsay
• Restaurant Reviews
  • Miss Asia
  • Veggie Bites
  • Berry Chill
  • Just Indulge
• Omelet and Orgy Day
  • Steak & Blowjob Day
  • Cake & Cunnilingus Day
• Desserts
  • Chocolate Pizza Company
  • Tru
  • Blue Water Grill

E-mail us: twobitesinsuburbia@gmail.com

Join us: http://twobites.podbean.com

Subscribe at iTunes: http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=278683274

Pitchfork Music Festival in Food

I didn’t get a chance to take photos of all the food, but I did get the important stuff, namely a closeup of the ćevapčići.   What is ćevapčići?  According to Wikipedia…

Ćevapi or ćevapčići (diminutive) is a dish of grilled minced meat kebabs, found in the Balkans. They may be served on a plate or in a flatbread (lepinja or somun), often with chopped onions, sour cream, kajmak, cottage cheese, and so on.

On the grill, they looked like a sausage link sandwich.

They were one of the surprise (not really) hits of the festival, that also featured vegetarian curries, BBQ Tempeh wraps, and usual carnival fare like deep fried cheese curds, corn on the cob, and ribs.  Everyone had something.  Me?  I had my cheese fries with ketchup.

For a full account of my Saturday surrounded by music, food and hipsters, keep an eye out on my personal blog, where more photos will be uploaded to my other flickr account.

Ads vs. Reality

Slashfood had this link up originally, but I just had to share.  The West Virginia Surf Report has a photo article up showing you what the sad reality of fast food compared to what the ads show you on a daily basis.  Needless to say, it’s not pretty.

Sifting through the photos, it’s even sadder when you realize the only thing that comes close to its advertising equivalent is a filet o’ fish, and that’s probably because there’s only three frakkin’ ingredients on that whole thing.

Seriously, how any can say that either the KFC Bowl or the Wendy’s Taco Salad doesn’t look like a bowl of warmed over vomit must still be either drunk or high enough to be hungry for anything.