Tom Colicchio Wants Your Money

Tom Colicchio

Look, I like Top Chef.  It’s one of the only reality shows I actually watch and enjoy.  The other?  Wipeout.  Who doesn’t love seeing people try jumping over ridiculously large balls?  But that’s not the point of this post.  The point is that Tom Colicchio, who seems like a serious, but friendly guy, may be moving into the “full of himself” slash “celebrity douche” chef status with what is supposedly his newest venture (NYT via Gawker):

At a press conference (yes, an actual press conference) this morning, Tom Colicchio unveiled his plans for a new restaurant which, like Brigadoon, will magically appear at designated intervals, then vanish from sight.

It will be called Tom: Tuesday Dinner. But Mr. Colicchio appeared far from sold on the name, at one point saying, “If somebody can think of a better one, I’ll change it.”

The restaurant will probably serve about 80 diners a month, which is almost certain to make this one of the toughest tickets in town. Reservations will be taken by telephone six weeks in advance, and the price of the meal ($150 to $250 depending on the menu) will have to be prepaid with a credit card. Menus will only be announced about a week before each meal; they will be posted on a website, tomtuesdaydinner.com.

I mean, come on!  As if the “underground dinner” experiences weren’t elitest enough, now we have a guy I had some respect for creating a magical, disappearing “restaurant” that will only be open twice a month serving a mere 80 people for a ridiculous price.  As if we needed something like to try and take more of our money in a fairly uncertain economic time.

I call for all the celebrity chefs to create 15 dollar lunch menus to help ease the economic recession, not 150-300 dollar “mystery” dinners to stroke the egos of the few well-to-do asshats who aren’t afraid to toss around money like that.

Hell, for 50 bucks, I’ll have people come over to my apartment once a month and cook them some food, and we’ll even watch a movie while I give them a deep tissue shoulder massage.

Little Gordon Returns

Little Gordon Ramsay

Little Gordon Ramsay returns!  This time he brings his adorably foul mouth to the school cafeteria to go after the substandard sausages being offered up at the school.

Click on Little Gordon to be taken to the new video.

Ortega Tacos’ Unintentionally Perverse Shawn Johnson Ad

I can’t tell if the people at Ortega honestly didn’t realize what they were getting a 16-year-old girl to say, or if this is some of the smartest, most subversive, sex-sells advertising I’ve seen since Joe Camel’s Penis Nose.

Foodies For Obama

Foodies For Obama

Love food?  Love Obama?  Join the Facebook Group “Foodies for Obama.”  We all know I loathe the term foodie, but I was browsing around the interwebs to see if I could find any Obama related food bits, and had to share this link with other democratic politico types.

We also learn in a New York Times piece (via Obama’s webpage) that he’s a fan of the Honest Tea:

“…when it comes to food, Senator Obama “eats pretty much anything, from chicken wings and barbecue and ribs to grilled fish and steamed broccoli.” But when he is campaigning in a small town with limited options, a cheeseburger is always a good bet. (“Cheddar is the cheese of choice,” Mr. Love added.)

He knows that “the boss,” as he calls Mr. Obama, likes MET-Rx chocolate roasted-peanut protein bars and bottles of a hard-to-find organic brew — Black Forest Berry Honest Tea. He keeps a supply of both on hand.”

The only downside to all this food talk?  Turns out Obama likes the broccoli.  I hope I can learn to forgive him.

Schweppe – Lombard, IL

Mega Mixer!

Gadget freaks, food lovers, Chicago suburbanites, run, don’t walk to Schweppe out in Lombard.  They’re a restaurant wholesaler that is also open to the public.  We were able to acquire one dozen flatware sets for all of 12 bucks yesterday.  Seriously, how can you beat that?  Sure, they may not look as nice as something you pick up at Williams-Sonoma, but let’s be serious; if you’re paying for a flatware set that serves 4 and costs over $100, the silverware better be able to find its own way to your mouth.

And oh the gadgets, the glorious gadgets.  Get kiboshed the 4-foot whisk I wanted to buy as kitchen direction, but just know that you can buy a FOUR FOOT WHISK.  You can also buy large, metal margarita glasses, along with various foodstuffs. I picked up vegetarian soup bouillion for 4 bucks that I may never need soup bouillion again.

Of course, their main focus is for the actual food industry, so the back room is full of ridiculously large bowls, chafing dishes, stoves, sinks, and the like.  But, the entire front of the store is like a food lover’s wet dream.  At least it was for me.  I picked up a microplane and rolling pin for 6 bucks each, a timer for 10, and a wee-tiny egg whisk for 60 cent. I’ll definitely be hopping a train out there once we’re settled into our new digs, and figure out what kind of stuff we’re missing.

And if I walk away with a 4-foot whisk, what’s the harm?

Little Gordon Ramsay

These may be the funniest thing I’ve seen all month:

You can sign up for video update alerts over on Little Gordon

Coming Soon, The Danny Bonaduce Dining Experience

Danny Bonaduce

Danny Bonaduce and porn actress, Raquel Devine, are opening an “anti-Hollywood” restaurant, poking fun at the dark side of Tinsel Town.

Well, this just doesn’t sound right at all.  But that being said, I’ll be one of the first people to check it out if one ever opened in Chicago.

Poking fun how?  There’ll be bathroom stalls for bulimics and transexuals alike!  You’ll get a discount if you bring in your own mugshot!  It’s like Planet Hollywood’s crack-addicted, teenage-girl-dating, half-brother.  And it’s either going to be awesome, or a train wreck.

If it ever happens.  We’ll see when 2009 rolls around.

World’s Smallest Hamburger Combo

World's Smallest Hamburger Combo

To balance out the blog, create a healthy yin to the overeating yang, I present this link to you found over on Crafster.org: “The World’s Smallest Burger, Fries & Soda.” The best part?  It’s absolutely edible.  From the individual slices of micro-cheese to the sneeze and they’ll fly away French fries.  They even made a tiny little tray.  Adorable!

The Rise of the Gastrosexual

PurAsia, creator of "gastrosexual"

Okay.  We all know I hate the word foodie.  It’s been oft discussed.  But, I’ll take (begrudgingly) being labeled that any day of the week compared to what The Daily Telegraph is reporting as the rise of the “gastrosexual.”

A quote from the report, conducted by PurAsia:

Gastrosexuals can be male or female but the common denominator is their love of food. We found that cooking for this new generation isn’t simply a matter of refuelling. For them it’s an enjoyable experience and something to be relished – they cook for pleasure, praise and potential seduction.

‘Male Gastrosexuals in particular are no longer content with what they can find at the back of the kitchen cupboard. They are looking for something much more satisfying in terms of taste, participation and effort.’

Yes.  Every man who learns to cook is doing it purely to seduce women.  Thank you PurAsia.  Wait…who the FUCK is PurAsia?

Why, they’re the new product wing from “Mars Food, the US giant’s non-confectionery arm in the UK” And they have apparently “just undertaken its first new product launch for nine years, with the introduction of the Asian ready meal concept…”

This article was printed yesterday in the UK, and reprinted with a little sexy fun in Radar online.  Yet the domain name gastrosexual.com was registered back on December 07, 2007.

Hmmmm….does this smell of blatant undermining of a sub-culture through viral advertising?  Stephen Colbert coming up with his own word for satire is one thing.  But, this just feels dirty.

You can read their full 29-page “report” on their website. (PDF)

And the big kicker is that the company, PurAsia, promoting a term that defines people who don’t look for the easy way out where food is concerned is the creator of “ready-made Asian meals.” Yes.  There’s no better way to impress the ladies than to drag out your finest China, and woo her with some ramen noodles and Thai Kitchen-like microwavable Pad Thai.

PurAsia, the lounge lizard of gastronomy.

Raising Your Own Yeast Babies

I am a lazy baker.  Aside from the fact that I haven’t made a baked loaf of anything in several weeks is testament to that.  Oh, I have recipes, but with our impending move I just don’t have the time I need to do it properly.

I feel even lazier when I read posts like this one on Slashfood talking about starting your very own sourdough starter.  I long to try it, but until we’re moved into our own place, I’m pretty sure our respective families would disown us and toss the yeast starter out as soon as there was the slightest hint of a sour smell.

But soon, my precious yeast army….soon.