The Ram Restaurant & Brewery

I was asked to pick out a restaurant near Allstate Arena in Rosemont this past weekend. The in-laws were taking the family to a Chicago Wolves game, and while I opted out of joining them (because sitting in the Allstate Arena is near impossible for me), they wanted me to join them for dinner. The only problem was Rosemont is basically expensive hotel restaurants and subpar fast food. Well, that’s the only Rosemont I’ve seen. It’s O’Hare Airport’s city, so it almost comes across as a transient place to live. So many people travel THROUGH there you almost forget people live there, too. Needless to say I didn’t know where to take them.

On a good day, it’s a tough call to randomly pick a place. When you’re trying to not let down an entire clan, there’s even more pressure you put upon yourself. While they’re far more adventurous in dining than my family is, I wouldn’t want to take them to an unknown foreign food restaurant and hope for the best.  You don’t want to hope for the best in some circumstances.

What I found was The Ram Restaurant and Brewery. It’s not a local place, but a chain found in 5 states, getting its start in Washington. What surprised me was it’s a restaurant founded by the same group of people who founded Shakey’s, a fond restaurant memory of my youth. I used to love going to Shakey’s with my family. It’s where I learned such a thing as a pizza buffet existed. It’s where I learned the upper limits of how much pizza a human body could handle.

It turns out that for a chain restaurant, the food is far above average, although I can’t necessarily say the same for the beer. Nothing much struck my fancy, with their seasonal Big Horn S’No Angel Winter Weizenbock being my favorite of the ones sampled. It was a bit darker than I prefer, but the spice went well with the food.

The appetizer we went for was almost a dare. I mean, they were called Armadillo Eggs. Made with chicken, fresh chopped jalapeños, pepperjack cheese, “secret sauce” and seasonings, they tasted mostly like deep-fried cream cheese. You couldn’t much taste the chicken (oh yeah, I eat chicken now). But for a cheese lover, I wasn’t complaining. I love jalapeno poppers and these were a tasty distant cousin to those.

Like a lot of chain restaurants, their menu is massive. They have an ample selection of burgers, sandwiches, salads and more. My choice was the Chicken Amber Ale, a chicken breast marinated in an amber ale marinade, Porter BBQ sauce, slaw, tomato, onion crisps, roasted tomato-chipotle mayonnaise and a pretzel bun. They had me at onion crisps and sold me at pretzel bun. The chicken was tender and well marinated, and the sandwich itself was a sloppy mess with all those sauces. It ended up being a fork and knife situation by the end.

While the food was tasty and received accolades all around, there was one big problem. Most, if not all, of the burgers came out under prepared. Medium Well came out mostly pink in at least 3 situations. Luckily, the people who received the mis-cooked burgers didn’t mind the extra bit of pink, but it seems like something they should pay a little more attention to something like that.

Most of us agreed we’d still go back, and with the comic con coming up in August, I now have a place to direct my friends when we need something to eat. It’s a much better alternative to walking down to McDonald’s or ordering a $7 pizza from the convention center.  I’d most likely steer them away from the burgers, just to be safe, but otherwise it’s a nice place to have a meal.

Plus you get to tell people you ate Armadillo Eggs, and that’s always worth the price of admission.

XoCo – Chicago, IL

My need to NOT be that guy who writes headlines like “XoCo is LOCO” is in a constant internal struggle with the guy who on occasion loves such incredibly horrid word play.  But Chef Rick Bayless has earned a little more respect on this page than horrible puns and easy rhymes the 10-year-old stuck inside my head wants to shout.

And we’re best friends now.  Not only did he respond to one of my tweets, but he walked by us where I nonchalantly said, “Hey, Chef.” Even better is, he responded, “Hello.”  Yep.  Best friends.  Expect my Bayless endorsed restaurant MoHo RoCo in 2011.

The fixed menu is nice and simple, with only one or two daily specials.  Choices range from the familiar tastes of chicken, to the slightly-less-familiar headcheese. There are also caldos (soup) versions of a handful of the sandwiches.  Chips, salsas, guacamoles and pastries fill out the menu; along with aqua frescas, ice creams and churros.

Let me tell you, the churros are where it’s at.  Rick Bayless could open a churro stand with those things and make money.  The dough was that perfect combination of crunchy and chewy, covered with a healthy amount of cinnamon sugar.  At 1 for $1.00 or 3 for $3.00, it may be the best deal on the menu.

Chips and salsa were fine but unnecessary.  They made be handmade, but at the price you shouldn’t be able to count the amount of chips you get just by looking at the basket.  They were also a little conservative with the salsa.

Katie ordered the Gunthorp Chicken Torta described on the menu as a wood-roasted red chile chicken, caramelized onion, black beans, avocado, tomatillo salsa.  The first problem arose when the onions on the sandwich were nearly raw and definitely not carmelized.  She was also not a fan of the chicken itself, or the lack of spices that came with it to be more to the point.  Luckily, after a healthy dose of the hot sauce provided at the table, it was finally to her liking.

I ordered the Woodland Mushroom torta which came with wood-roasted garlic mushrooms, Prairie Farm goat cheese, black beans, wild arugula, 3-chile salsa.  The mushrooms were perfectly marinated and went well with the goat cheese.  I couldn’t find a single issue with my sandwich, made evident that mine was gone before Katie even touched the second half of hers.

Our main problem with the tortas were the size.  They’re perfectly average in size,  but just on the side of a little too small that when we left I was still hungry.

The mexican chocolate flan we had for dessert was rich and dense, but not sickeningly so.  A nice little finish to our meal. We also accidentally ended up getting some hot chocolate for dessert.  We ordered it thinking we could drink it before the meal, but the process is so involved that we didn’t get the cup until halfway through our meal.  It was a happy situation, however, because it went well with our dessert.

There is one thing that is keeping XoCo from moving beyond good to being great.  It’s not XoCo’s fault, nor is it Rick Bayless’.  But it is a problem that turned away at least 6 people while Katie and I took our first visit there Saturday afternoon.  The line to get in is ridiculous.  Reports vary, of course.  Our friends from Fritz Pastry, Nate & Elaine, went there on a weekday afternoon to find an empty restaurant where they quickly ordered and ate within 30 minutes.  On the other end of the spectrum, it took us nearly 30 minutes of standing in line to merely reach the doors of the restaurant.  The next 20 minutes were made even worse because now we could actually smell the smells we were already hungry for.

This would be the perfect lunch spot if you could run in and grab a quick torta, which is how this place appears to be set up.  And maybe once the excitement of a new Bayless restaurant wears off, that’ll be the case.  But for right now you have to seriously consider if your need for a torta and some chips outweighs the chance you could be waiting for that very torta any where from 45 minutes to 2 hours.

Indian Garden – Snapshot Review

Spicy. Spicy. Spicy.  That about sums up Indian Garden.

I could eat the pakora by the plateful. It’s like the popcorn shrimp of the vegetarian world.  Always crisp, never greasy.  As I mentioned, everything has a kick.  From the saag paneer to the aloo gobi.  By the time we were done, I was convinced my eyes were sweating.

While their full menu offers a wider variety of dishes, but the buffet gives you a decent sampling of their food.

Try the iced tea. It’s confoundingly some of the most delicious ice tea I’ve ever had.

Fritz Pastry Press Release

Oh look, a Fritz Pastry press release.  Why yes, it was written by me.

For Immediate Release

CHICAGO, IL — There’s something to be said for good food that’s also affordable.  Too often nowadays, niche bakeries and cafes are moving towards the “couture” or “boutique” end of the spectrum, without looking back at the rest of us who want to be able to afford more than one cupcake when you walk through the doors.  Many of us would love to dine on upscale pastries, but unfortunately most of us can only afford mid-scale prices.

And that’s where Fritz Pastry comes in.  They understand that good food doesn’t need to come at not-so-good prices, which is oh-so-good for us.  Using the freshest local and organic products available Fritz Pastry will feature not only familiar European pastries, but several vegan options for those looking for an extra guilt-free treat; not to mention a rotating menu of seasonal savory dishes.

The owners of Fritz Pastry haven’t set their goals low.  They are also offering their specialty services are for call ahead ordering, catering, cake sales, and wholesale distribution.  Their menu offers a “Take & Bake” section of pastries by the dozen for those people looking to bring the restaurant home.

Located at 1408 W. Diversy Parkway in the Lakeview neighborhood, Fritz Pastry isn’t just another cafe opening in Chicago, but is a cafe that brings its diners to the cobblestones of Europe with every buttery bite.

Chef Nathaniel Meads, the chef behind Fritz Pastry, has long-held a love for the baking and pastry world.  Starting in a small Kankakee bakeshop in 1995 Meads has worked his way up through the restaurant scene.  He was most recently the Executive Pastry Chef for Blue Water Grill before its closing in 2009.

Meads spent his college days working through Joliet Junior College’s Culinary Arts Program, as well as several restaurants turning school theory into real-world practice.   In May 2002 Meads began a long, healthy career with Chicago’s Lettuce Entertain You Enterprises, joining the staff of reknowned restaurant Brasserie Jo as a Patissier.  2006 saw Meads join the staff of world famous The Everest Room as a Pastry Assistant where he would learn the skills to one day lead an entire pastry team.  That same year, Meads joined Gale Gand’s pastry team at the also famous and award-winning Tru.  In 2007 Meads was hired as the Executive Pastry Chef for Blue Water Grill to reinvent the dessert menu.  Creating desserts that were not only delicious, but fun his dishes have been featured on ABC Chicago’s Hungry Hound.

Featuring not only pastries familiar to those who visit cafes, Meads and his partners are hoping to bring a taste of Europe to the Lakeview neighborhood, in turn hoping to make Fritz Pastry a favorite cafe for all of Chicago.

When Meads isn’t making food, he’s eating it.  And when Meads isn’t eating food, he’s thinking about making more.

Elaine Heaney comes from the administration side of the restaurant industry, spending several years as Nacional 27′s Business Manager and Event Coordinator.

Jared Nance currently hails from Nacional 27 where he is currently a bartender and shift leader.  He has worked in the restaurant industry since 1994, covering both the front-of-house and kitchen operations.

A Very Fritz Pastry Q&A

I met up with Elaine Heaney, Nathaniel Meads and Jared Nance, the partners behind Fritz Pastry, a couple weeks before their grand opening to talk about a variety of topics, including why they decided now was the time to open up their own café, their history in the food industry, and who would win in a couple of dream battles of my own creation.

The question and answer session below is actually my second ever interview.  The first?  Takashi Shimizu.  That’s right, I interviewed the director of The Grudge for NewType USA. But that was an e-mail interview where I was able to take the time to research and finesse my questions.  I wasn’t sure how an on the spot interview would go.  I’m not typically the kind of blog writer that enjoys seeking out and hunting down interviews.  So when the opportunity arose to interview my friends for their restaurant, I thought it would be good experience for me, and a chance for them to introduce themselves to Chicago in a comfortable setting.

Let me tell you there’s nothing anything quite as entertaining as interviewing your friends.

Mike: So first question, what up?
Elaine: (Laughs)

Nathaniel: That’s a terrible first question.

M: Pretend I’m just a reporter who you’ve never met before from the most awesome foodblog ever, Two Bites in Suburbia.  What’s up?  How are you guys doing?
N: Rad!

Jared: We are good.  What’s up with you?

M: How are you doing, Elaine?
E: This better not be on your podcast.  I freeze when the redlight is on.

M: This place looks unrecognizable from when I saw it a few weeks ago. How are things coming along?
E: I think things are coming along well.  We’re working, and working, and sleeping and more working.  But it’s fun!

N: Man, things are going great!

M: What made you decide to open up your own place?  Was it always a goal?
E:  I think it’s always been a goal for all of us, but definitely for Nate and I.  We’ve been married almost ten years, and it’s always been more like a dream.  After working long days and long hours we finally wanted to work those long days and long hours for ourselves.

J: I think we were all at a common point in our lives.  We were all ready for something new to happen, and it just worked out.  I think we all supply a different piece to the puzzle, so I think it works between the three of us.

N: For me, it was more the long nights I was working.  I was going to be doing something like this my whole life. Now Elaine and I will be able to see each other, and work next to each other.

J: Also, I feel the same way about Elaine.  Sorry, Nate, I didn’t want you to find out like this.

N: (Laughs while biting into his bagel)

M: She is pretty lovable.

M: And where did the name Fritz Pastry come from?
N: That’s my grandpa!  Frederick “Fritz” Schoch.  He’s from Germany.  His family sent him over (to America) on a boat when he was seventeen. He was a baker’s apprentice in Germany before coming over here.  And once he was here, I don’t think he ever did any cooking…

E: He did when he went into the army.

N: He was a cook in the army!  That’s right!  He was rad.  Was that a good answer?

M: It was!  That was a really good answer.

M: So, Nate, you’ve been into baking and pastry since you were a kid then?
N: (Nods)

M: It’s in your blood? The power of flour?
N: Yep.  Hey, can I get a shirt that says that? (Laughs) But, yes I have.  When I was little, my mom would bake bread and cookies in the afternoon and she would sit me on the counter and let me watch.  I remember that when I was 5 or 6 I wanted to be a fireman, but that all changed by the time I was 8.  By then…

E: He either wanted to be a pastry chef or a rock n’ roller.

M: Not a tyrannosaurus?
E: HA!  I think it’s always been pastry chef or rock n’ roller.

N: Yeah, they had you fill out that form in high school asking what you wanted to do…I mean, what did you guys put down?

M: I think I usually put down artist or mathematician.

N: What about mathemagician?

M: Ooooooooh

J: Come on system’s analyst!  Come on system’s analyst!

E: I totally put fashion designer.  And look at me now!

J: I actually don’t remember people asking me that question.  I’m sure they did, but my fallback answer has always been writer or novelist.

M: What about you Elaine?  Did Nate pass his love of food onto you, or have you always been a fan?
E: We always say that food and music is what brought us together.  Neither of us had met someone else with such a passion for either of those before.  But I’ve always loved food, really good food.  That led me to getting into really good foods, sweets and pastries when I met Nate.

M: And you Jared?
J: My first job, and most jobs were in food.  I started when I was 15, but I thought it would only be temporary.  It just turned out that whenever I went into a different field I was never content.  So it was originally something I just fell into, but it ended up being where I found myself the happiest.  For me, it’s just as much about the food service atmosphere as it is about the product.

M: You’re actually a trained chef, right Nate? Where’d did you go to school?
N: I went to the culinary program at Joliet Junior College. I would say I learned just as much there as I would have paying for a more expensive program.

M: Did it prepare you for your career in the restaurant world, or were there things that there was just no way to be prepared for?
N: School is school.  And then you get a job, where on the first day you learn everything you learned at school, plus more.  There’s only so much you can learn before you start working somewhere and they kick you around for a few years.  So I’d say I learned the most getting kicked around at the start.

E: Nate and I don’t discourage anyone from going to culinary school, but we DO encourage them to get a job at a restaurant.  Whether it’s dishwashing, line cook or hostess; it’s good for everyone to know how a restaurant functions from the front door to the back door.  Sometimes the media glamorizes the industry a tiny bit.

M: I know it’s putting you on the spot, but Nate, what’s your favorite dessert of the ones you’ve made over the years?
N: The Cracker-Jack Sundae at Blue Water Grill.  I made the cracker jacks and ice cream (butter peanut & salted caramel), and then it was served with a peanut butter shell on top.  There was also a small prize in a box with each order.

M: What about one that isn’t yours?
N: A couple of years ago at Avenues in the Peninsula I tried a chocolate-ginger-lime shooter.  It blew my mind because I didn’t think those flavors would go well together. I guess I’m close-minded, because I was wrong.

M: What about one that never made it off your drawing board?
N: Ooooooooh.  There were a lot of crazy failed ones.  I was working on a blue velvet cake, but it ended up turning everything blue.  Everything.

M: Elaine, same questions.
E: Too much pressure!  Go to Jared!

M: Okay, Jared, same questions.
N: Yeah, I want to hear what you favorite dessert of mine is.

J: I don’t really care for Nate’s desserts.

(Everyone laughs)

J: But seriously, my favorites of his at Blue Water were always the specials involving fruit, his brioche especially.  When I go out I usually end up getting something fruit based.  I like chocolate, but I love cobblers and the like.  Stuff like my mom would do.

E: Okay, I’m ready. My favorite of Nate’s is his French Macarons, the galettes and anything he makes in parfait form.   When we go out I’ll always try whatever isn’t chocolate.  It’s so funny, because every time we’ve gone out to eat somewhere new we always ask our server “What would you suggest?”  They always, ALWAYS suggest the chocolate tart or the molten cake or some other “must have” signature chocolate dessert.  I usually just pick the next item down the menu.

M:  I’d ask what your favorite bread is, but we ALL know it’s my Pretzel Bread….right?
E: Duh!

N:  Haha!  You know it!

M:  So enough about you people.  Let’s talk about what everyone really cares about, the food.  What will you be offering?
E: We have a BIG focus on breakfast pastries, along with a light offering of lunch and dinner items. There will also be some soups and salads…some tartines (open faced sandwiches).  We also have a Fritz Pastry custom blended coffee as well as some favorite loose teas.

M: I noticed that most of the pastries are mostly classically French.  Does that come from your schooling, Nate, or is it just your favorite pastry country?
N: That’s my favorite.  Whenever I’ve thought of pastry it was that. It was hardly ever American apple pie.  It has always been European.

E: Nate definitely leans towards the French pastry, but I’ve seen him get pretty into panettone and springerle, too.

M: So you both know the delicious benefits of butter?
E: I’ve just recently discovered European butter.  Unreal and SO good.

N: Heck yeah. It’s awesome.

M: But you’re also not ignoring the large vegan population looking for their sweets fix.  Are you both vegans? Or are you vegetarian with a vegan baking twist?
E: Nate and I are both vegetarian.  Jared’s neither vegan nor vegetarian. I was vegan for years and that’s when I discovered how good AND bad vegan sweets could end up being. Somehow I learned how to make a tasty chocolate chip cookie that was also vegan, so I kept trying to bake egg and dairy free. We’ll have a small vegan section with our most successful recipes.

M: Elaine, I know you do a majority of the vegan baking.  Will that continue at Fritz?  Or have you passed the recipes onto Nate?
E: I’ll definitely help of course, but I’ve decided to finally let go of my secrets and pass the recipes on to Nate. Not that he needs them.  He’s been baking tons of tasty vegan goods for De.li.cious Café since they’ve opened.

M: You’re history is interesting.  You actually started as an online/mail order bakery.  Are deliveries and special orders going to continue?  Do you have plans to expand further?  World domination?
E: Yes, we will be offering a delivery service where we always encourage special orders. Eventually we’d like to have a place in New York, as well as one somewhere in California.

N: But right now, we’re really just focusing on this place.  We really want this place to work.

E: Yeah we’re really focusing on Chicago right now.  We can dream later.

M: I have a couple more questions, and I’ll let you guys get back to your baking magic.  Most importantly, what’s your music selection going to be like?  That always says a lot about a café.
N: I don’t know if we’re done arguing about that yet.

E: I would play the Monkees every second we were open if Nate and Jared would let me.

N: The monkees ARE geniuses.

M: You’ve really banded your friends together to get this place together before opening.  Want to use this space to thank them?
E: We think it would be funnier to list everyone who hasn’t pitched in!

N: An un-thank you list.

E: Just kidding!  Everyone in our lives has been beyond supportive, from our family, to our friends, to friends of friends.

M: And a couple rapid fire questions to get those out of the way.  I figure these are to be taken out of context for when you ultimately get too big and the media wants to take you down.  Favorite Chef?
N: Man, that’s not a quick answer!  That’s like asking someone what’s your favorite song.

M: “They’ll Need a Crane” by They Might Be Giants!

E: I KNEW it would be They Might Be Giants.  What about who your least favorite chef is?

J: So much hate!

E: Okay fine.  Joel Dennis, the Executive Chef of Ducasse’s Adour in New York

N: I’d say Lisa Mortimer.  I loved working for her at TRU.  She was super cool and she really knew how to lead.

J: Paul Kahan.  And I really like Avec.

M: Favorite Restaurant?
E: In Chicago? I’m a sucker for Ben Pao. Outside of Chicago? Red Bamboo in New York.  And my favorite pastry shop is still Tartine in San Francisco.

N: Coalfire on Grand.  Outside of Chicago the Balthazar in New York, because their pain au chocolat is soooooooo good,

M: Favorite cookbook everyone should own?
E: Eric Ripert’s On The Line or Michel Richard’s Happy in the Kitchen.  Both have some great photography.

J: Bachelor’s Pride Microwave Meals!

N: Ha ha! Ducasse’s Grand Livre de Cuisine by Frédéric Robert

M: Favorite Band?
J: I would actually have to say They Might Be Giants.

E: Descendents and Lagwagon

N: Armchair Martian

M: Last question, and one for each of you.  Nate , who would win in a fight between GI Joe and the Justice League?
N: G.I. Joe would win because they’re real American heroes!

M: But the superheroes have superpowers!  And G.I. Joe couldn’t shoot very straight.

N: Luckily, neither could C.O.B.R.A.

M: Elaine.  Who would win in a fight between the cast of 90210 and the Gilmore Girls?
E: Easy. The cast of the old 90210 would win a fistfight, but the cast of Gilmore Girls would win an argument of wit.

M: Jared.  Who would win in a battle between sasquatch and Bender from Futurama.

J: That’s an easy one…

M: BUT, it’s a robot sasquatch.

N: Oh snap!

J: I think between a robot sasquatch and Bender, I’d have to reference the Ultimate Robot League episode, and say it ultimately comes down to how much money is in it for Bender.

M: Nice answer!  Okay, that’s all I got.  Thanks for your time you guys, and good luck on the opening!

ALL: Thanks, Mike!

Fritz Pastry is located at 1408 W. Diversey Pkwy, Chicago, IL 60614.  The phone number is (773) 857-2989.  They will be open 7 a.m.-7 p.m. daily

You can also find Fritz Pastry on Facebook and Twitter.

The Hot Dog From Hell

HillBilly's Homewrecker

Do you value your life?  No?  Well then head down to West Virginia where you can get “The Homewrecker” hot dog at HillBilly Hot Dogs.  I’m just going to quote Al Dente as far as the ingredients go:

“The Homewrecker is a 3.5-lb. weapon of cardiovascular mass destruction. They start with a deep-fried 15″, 1-pound dog and top it with peppers, onions, nacho cheese, chili sauce, jalapenos, mustard, ketchup, coleslaw, tomatoes, lettuce, and shredded cheese.”

Now, “The Homewrecker” can be yours for free if you can eat it in under 4 minutes.  Under 12 minutes, it’ll still cost you $14.99 but you’ll get a free t-shirt out of the deal.  Attempt to eat this at all, however, and you’ll most likely die.

I do love all the various, “Eat this and you’ll dine for free!” marketing gimmicks though.  It’s a win-win for restaurants.  People with blustery bravado will always try and eat it, and in most cases fail; but they’ll have a story to tell and you’ll have 20 bucks in the cash register.

We even have one down in Morris, Illinois at “R” Place, a truck stop slash creepiest damn restaurant I’ve ever been to ever.  Littered with old toys and marionettes (which occasionally, randomly spring to life!!!), you can try and eat their Premium Ethyl burger.

Although, the Ethyl has nothing on The Homewrecker.  At a measely two-pounds of fresh ground hamburger covered with toppings and served on a homemade bun, it’ll only set you back $17.95.  Ethyl is is served with a timer, though.  If you finish in under an hour you get it for free, along with your name on a plaque that hangs on the wall.

If you lose?  Your soul gets trapped in the aquarium of marionettes that dances for a nickel at the entrance to the restaurant.

Premium Ethyl at R-Place

English – Chicago, IL

Gastropub. Noun – A British term coined in 1991 for a public house (“pub”) which specializes in high-quality food a step above the more basic “pub grub.”

If I were to base my opinion of restaurants calling themselves gastropubs only on the experience we had at English here in Chicago over the weekend, I would be convinced that the word is a cover up for a typical bar with open window seating charging insane prices for the typically mediocre food you would find at any other bar that’s not afraid to call itself a bar.

English Fries @ English

And I think that’s the general problem with the food scene and its incessant need to create words for ideas that DON’T NEED NEW WORDS.  English may serve fancier version of curry chips, or “sliders” or any of the burgers/entrees on their menu, but when it all comes down to it, English is a trendy version of an English pub.  So therefore, it can serve food at the typically expensive trendy prices.

And we ordered bar food.  We can’t judge their entrees, because we wanted a quick, dirty and cheap meal.  We definitely didn’t feel like putting out 25 dollars an entree.  More importantly, we were both jonsing for some warm, spicy and MESSY fries covered in curry sauce.  What we got instead were some incredibly thin fries, not even the usual English chips, served in a fancy bread holder, and served with three rather small dipping bowls of malt vinegar, cold curry, and ketchup.  I love ketchup.  I usually like to have a few fries with the pool of ketchup I pour onto my plate.  But, I don’t remember ketchup being a standard of the UK where eating fries was concerned.

To go along with the fries, I ordered one of their portobello burger sliders, while Katie ordered their chicken curry skewers.  Katie’s skewers came to her dry and again, sans much curry at all.  A line of curry was piped onto each skewer, nothing else.  Needless to say, she just wasn’t very happy, or full.  My slider was probably the highlight of the lunch, but at $3.50, I just don’t know if it was worth a dollar a bite.

I can’t tell you what the prices on the drinks were, because there was no drink menu offered.  Our waitress was far more interested in sitting down and talking with the people at the table next to us.  We were one of 4 tables being waited on at our time of service, but you would have thought she was being slammed with customers based on how seldom we saw her.  I’m assuming prices were typical for a gastropub, so we avoided buying a pint of Guinness, or trying out their English Tea Martini.

I can’t say we were too upset, though.  Our final bill for a 3-bite burger, fries, chicken skewers and two drinks (tea and coke) was still 30 dollars.  At least if I went to a bar, 30 dollars would have gotten me enough nachos, cheese sticks, and potato skins to give me a heart attack, with plenty left over to wash it down with a pint.  Instead, we wandered out of their looking for a place to eat the rest of our lunch, because we were still hungry, but at that point we’d rather go to a Taco Bell than to give them more of our money.

Pubs, bars, speak easies, and brothels, lend me your ears.  Don’t charge us for the term gastropub.  Charge us for the quality of the food.  If your food doesn’t match up to the price that fancy and unneccesary term brings to the table, don’t be ashamed to call yourself a bar and serve some quality, affordable food.  It’s still possible. Best of all, reviews like this one won’t pop up online complaining that we were charged for a meal because a BAR was trying to fit in with the rest of the restaurants in the competitive world of dining entertainment.

Episode 2: Not Responsible For 2nd Degree Cheese Burns

Get the new episode here! Or subscribe on iTunes (Pretty please?)

The Least Researched, Most Opinionated Podcast About Food in Chicago!

Two Bites in Suburbia returns for an action packed second episode as we discuss feedback from the premier episode, our favorite desserts, and Mike rants on about the stupidity of people on the internet.  We also review Veggie Bites, Miss Asia, Just Indulge and Berry Chill.

Notes And Links

• Two Bites In Suburbia
• Listener Feedback
  • Subscribing on iTunes
• Keith Olbermann’s Countdown
• Do chefs hate Vegetarians?  Part Two
  • Gordon Ramsay
• Restaurant Reviews
  • Miss Asia
  • Veggie Bites
  • Berry Chill
  • Just Indulge
• Omelet and Orgy Day
  • Steak & Blowjob Day
  • Cake & Cunnilingus Day
• Desserts
  • Chocolate Pizza Company
  • Tru
  • Blue Water Grill

E-mail us: twobitesinsuburbia@gmail.com

Join us: http://twobites.podbean.com

Subscribe at iTunes: http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=278683274

Washington D.C. – The Misses #4

#4 – Cake Love

If you’ve ever watched Food Network, you’ve more than likely seen an episode of Warren Brown’s Sugar Rush. We had a few hours to kill on our final morning before the flight back to Chicago, so we decided to take a walk up to U Street and check out his bakery and cafe, Cake Love/Love Cafe. My recommendation is, skip Love Cafe unless you’re going later in the afternoon or evening.
We arrived for breakfast a little after 9:30 and were given the option of, well, one sandwich: Egg, cheese and meat on a bagel or croissant. Apparently, there is a breakfast and lunch menu, although that wasn’t really denoted on the menu. I ordered the grilled peanut butter and banana sandwich only to be told that was a lunch item only. It was also the only reason I wanted to check the place out in the first place! Dammit! I want peanut butter and bananas!
They only had one type of cupcake there at the moment, and we actually arrived before their shipment for the day. It was just a disappointing experience all around.Before leaving, though, we went across the street to check out Cake Love. Maybe it’s the expensive nature of D.C., or maybe it’s the fact that Warren Brown is a food celebrity, but 3 dollars for a cupcake is WAY too much, especially when the cupcake is exactly the same kind of thing my mother makes at home. If they were larger than average? Sure. Covered in a ridiculous amount of icing? Alright. I’ll bite. But when you buy a cupcake for 3 dollars that looks like something I can do over the weekend, that cake better be massaging my esophagus on the way down.
Maybe the cakes themselves are outstanding, but the cupcakes are definitely not a reason to go to Cake Love alone.

The Super Bowl Makes Me Eat Chicken Salad

Whoah baby.  How about that super bowl?  What with the end zones, and the kicking, and the…who was in it again?

I saw all of 5 minutes of Super Bowl 319 (or whatever), but that doesn’t mean my life wasn’t directly effected by it.  Instead of cooking and writing, I was working overtime at my office trying to get all the commercials out to the networks.  That lame GoDaddy.com ad teasing a “revealing” of Danica Patrick?  Yeah.  That was my fault.

I don’t make the ads, folks.  I just make sure they meet broadcast standards before we ship ‘em out to the stations.

Luckily, I had it a little easier than others; some of who were up over 20 hours of overtime by the end of the week.  “They” may say Christmas is the busiest time for companies, but I can guarantee “they” don’t know what they’re talking about.

With cooking left to a minimum, it was sandwiches all this week for Mike.  I turned to the Skinny Bitch in the Kitch book again, remembering they had a section on “Hearty-Ass Sandwiches,” and decided on their Chicken Salad Sandwich recipe.

Now normally, the mere idea of Chicken Salad makes me gag; but that has more to do with mayonnaise being the main ingredient.  Once I realized what mayo was, I refused to ever eat it again.  This version of it though is nice and vegetarian using Nayonnaise in place of the raw-egg gross explosion.

The results?  While it’s nothing to look at, it makes a pretty damn tasty veggie chicken salad.  It even fooled a few people into thinking it was the real thing.  And truth be told, I still gag a bit every time I open the container because I forget it’s not ACTUALLY chicken and mayonnaise.  I think that’s a compliment.

A note on the grapes.  You don’t have to use them, and I nearly didn’t, but they honestly do add a nice extra little flavor to the salad.  It’s just a small burst of juice and texture, but completely worth adding.

“Chicken” Salad Sandwiches (adapted from Skinny Bitch in the Kitch)

• 1/2 cup vegan mayonnaise
• 2 tsp lemon juice
• 1 Tbsp coarse nutritional yeast
• 1/2 Tbsp honey
• 1/4 tsp kosher salt
• 1/4 tsp curry powder
• 1/8 tsp pepper
• 2 cups chopped or shredded vegan chicken strips or chunks (I used Morningstar Farms Chik’n Meal Starters)
• 1/4 cup quartered seedless red grapes
• 1 celery stalk, finely diced
• 1/4 small red or white onion, finely diced
• 1 Tbsp dried parsley
• 6-8 slices whole wheat bread

In a small bowl, combine the mayonnaise, lemon juice, yeast, honey, salt, curry powder, and pepper.  In a large bowl, combine the chicken, grapes, celery, onion, and parsley.  Add the mayonnaise mixture to the chicken mixture, tossing gently.

Spread the chicken salad onto 3 or 4 slices of bread, topping with the remaining slices.

** Makes 4 sandwiches if using 1/2 cup of chicken salad per sandwich. **