Colonial's Kitchen Sink
I wasn’t lying when I said I loved the entire idea behind a small-town place offering up some ridiculously sized meal free if you met their challenge guidelines. More than anything, they’re like the car wrecks of the eating world. Some people go to hockey games to see the fights. Some people go to Nascar to see cars go boom. I can’t turn my eyes away from the idea that someone, somewhere is trying to eat an 11 pound burger with all the fixin’s. It’s disgusting and beautiful all at the same time.
For Day 1, I thought I’d start relatively small (compared to other challenges I’d discovered) and talk about a place relatively local to me: The Colonial Cafe & Ice Cream Parlor in Naperville, IL. Anyone who lives in the area knows about the Colonial and their eating challenge. If you finish an ice cream sundae the size of a kitchen sink, you’ll earn yourself a bumper sticker. No, the sundae isn’t free, but you’ll proudly be able to advertise how for one day, you experienced one of the world’s seven deadly sins: gluttony.
And it’s a good feeling. Back in the mid-90s or so, I was actually a proud owner of the bumper sticker. My friend Dave and I decided that we would tackle it together. We knew it needed to be done. Dave and I were not the smartest people. We also challenged each other to finish off an extra-large boston shake from Sonny’s Delite in Joliet one year. Their extra-large is so big that I’ve never seen more than a dozen cups behind the counter, because no smart person EVER ORDERS ONE.
I’m still not sure how I’m neither diabetic or dead. But the Kitchen Sink. That’s what we we’re talking about.
Two whole bananas, six scoops of vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream, three toppings, covered with whipped cream, chopped nuts and a cherry.
Oh yeah. It’s two banana splits put into one sink-shaped bowl. In comparison to even the hot dog from last week it seems almost TOO easy. But, I don’t see how anyone could easily finish this by themselves without wanting to vomit, or at least curl into a fetal position by the time the last spoonful hits your lips.
But as I said, finish all that, and you earned yourself a free red and white bumper sticker declaring:
Colonial Bumper Sticker
It’s okay to be jealous. You know you want one.
Filed under: contest, dessert, Ice Cream, Naperville, restaurants | 3 Comments »
Holy hot damn, is 
Our “third course” was what you see pictured: Marshmallows a la Napoleon. Now, when it comes to weird food concoctions, I’m more willing to dive in than Katie. I like weird. I *am* weird. She’s told me that eating with me has really opened her horizons, but she still wasn’t sold on the idea of marshmallows and cheese. Together. Living in edible harmony. That, and she hates marshmallows.
The first thing that stands out about this pastrami on rye with mustard (AKA the Perfect Sandwich) is the bread. It’s a light, fluffy marble rye. This is in almost direct contrast to most of the breads you find them building these sandwiches on in NYC. They stack ‘em high on the east coast and tend to rely on less fibrous bread to support all of the meat. (tasty, tasty meat.) But I really like this soft bread. First of all, it absorbs some of the mustard, which is spicy. I mean seriously, not kiddin’ around with you, spicy. It also sports a nice, think crust that has a smattering of seeds but not enough to get stuck in your teeth.
The size of the sandwiches are amazing, but I was shocked…SHOCKED…by the size of the latkes. For 89 cents per, I was treated to latkes that are easily 6 inches round, if not larger. They’re light, fluffy, blended and fried in enough grease that my plate was shimmering under the light, and my arteries were wondering where the hell the healthy food went. My only regret is that I didn’t have any sour cream to go with them.
Meat lovers will undoubtedly get more out of
