Drinking The Weekend Away

Katie and I planned to do the cute couple thing this weekend and take a trip to Long Grove, IL to see what all the old-person hub bub was about, but the weather cut that short. What we did see of Long Grove is exactly as one would think. Although based on how many times I’ve had to explain what Long Grove is to people, there doesn’t seem to be too many people thinking about it at all. It’s full of small stores (two Irish-based!), small boutiques and old-school ice cream stores. The sidewalks are cobblestone and horrible uneven, and under any other circumstances we would have stuck around, but the snow made the cobblestone nice and slippery. We decided that a guy with balance problems was not the target audience for Long Grove that day.

What we did get to try before we left was the Long Grove Confectionary, a chocolate lover’s wet dream. Free samples of their dark chocolate peppermint bark greeted us, and after some hemming and hawing we decided we couldn’t leave without trying the thing for which the city is known. We tried their jalapeño and sea salt chocolate, the peanut butter, and the fudge cup. Being a PB & Chocolate whore the cup won hands down as far as I’m concerned, but the salted caramel with a jalapeño kick was a close runner up. You didn’t get the heat until you swallowed and it hit the back of your throat.

Instead we had lunch at The Ram, which I wrote about the other day. The second trip was fairly similar to the first trip. The service was slightly slow, but the food was good. I tried their fish and chips for this second visit. You only get one piece of fish, but it’s a large piece. It was nice to not be disgustingly full as some fish and chips dishes can do to you. It’s a heavy, hearty meal and when a 

restaurant tosses three pieces of battered goodness at you, you don’t always walk away feeling good about yourself.

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I tried their beer sampler as well. I didn’t feel as bad ordering my own, since the first trip I was sipping off my sister-in-law’s 3 oz pints. I think I’ve discussed my complete naivety when it comes to beer. I know nothing about hops and malts and wheats and ryes. I go in with a “if it tastes good, awesome” mentality. Through the very scientific process of “Try Everything” I’ve learned I like lighter, crisper beer, with stouts being the one exception. My favorite seems to be European drafts, especially something like an Italian Rye. So, I said bring on the sampler!

Turns out that my initial beer instincts stayed true. The Big Horn Blonde, Hefeweizen and the Buttface Amber Ale were the clear favorites, with Buttface probably being favorite. It went well with the fish and chips and never had a bitter taste to it. The blonde was a great before food drink, but didn’t necessarily pair up with the food very well. And the Hefeweizen was nice, if a bit too tangy (is that a beer term) for me.

The rest of the beers were sampled but just sat there. Sorry Big Red Ale and Total Disorder Porter.

Sunday we tried going to Little Goat since three of our friends got in with no wait. Of course we got there to find out there was over an hour wait. So we went to Haymarket Pub & Brewery instead. We weren’t disappointed.

ImageThe vegan burger was surprisingly good, especially since one of the main ingredients was beets. I do no like beets, so kudos to them making a delicious beet burger. The mac and cheese was awesomely smoky. And Katie loved her “Morning Riot” burger, which was italian sausage, mozzarella, BBQ pulled pork and an egg for good measure. She ate it as a personal dare to herself. She seldom eats the unhealthiest thing on the menu but the “Morning Riot” called to her. It didn’t last long.

We tried a couple of their beers, since you know, that’s what they’re about and stuff. I went with the White Chapel Wit, a Belgian white ale. It was exactly the kind of thing I like: light, crisp, and went well with my food. Katie tried the Nothing Rhymes With Purple Spiced Belgian Oatmeal Stout. Having just had a New Holland The Poet Oatmeal Stout a few days ago, I thought Haymarket’s was a much smoother stout, but still not something I’d order off the menu if I had a choice.

Readers of this blog will notice we actually avoided dessert at both of these restaurants. Sure, we replaced the calories with beer, but we almost felt like we were eating healthier, if you can count Italian sausage smothered in BBQ Pork and an egg healthier. But you have to start somewhere. Maybe next time we won’t order drinks, and be REALLY good.

But probably not.

Why cut out all the fun?

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The Ram Restaurant & Brewery

ImageI was asked to pick out a restaurant near Allstate Arena in Rosemont this past weekend. The in-laws were taking the family to a Chicago Wolves game, and while I opted out of joining them (because sitting in the Allstate Arena is near impossible for me), they wanted me to join them for dinner. The only problem was Rosemont is basically expensive hotel restaurants and subpar fast food. Well, that’s the only Rosemont I’ve seen. It’s O’Hare Airport’s city, so it almost comes across as a transient place to live. So many people travel THROUGH there you almost forget people live there, too. Needless to say I didn’t know where to take them.

On a good day, it’s a tough call to randomly pick a place. When you’re trying to not let down an entire clan, there’s even more pressure you put upon yourself. While they’re far more adventurous in dining than my family is, I wouldn’t want to take them to an unknown foreign food restaurant and hope for the best.  You don’t want to hope for the best in some circumstances.

What I found was The Ram Restaurant and Brewery. It’s not a local place, but a chain found in 5 states, getting its start in Washington. What surprised me was it’s a restaurant founded by the same group of people who founded Shakey’s, a fond restaurant memory of my youth. I used to love going to Shakey’s with my family. It’s where I learned such a thing as a pizza buffet existed. It’s where I learned the upper limits of how much pizza a human body could handle.

It turns out that for a chain restaurant, the food is far above average, although I can’t necessarily say the same for the beer. Nothing much struck my fancy, with their seasonal Big Horn S’No Angel Winter Weizenbock being my favorite of the ones sampled. It was a bit darker than I prefer, but the spice went well with the food.

The appetizer we went for was almost a dare. I mean, they were called Armadillo Eggs. Made with chicken, fresh chopped jalapeños, pepperjack cheese, “secret sauce” and seasonings, they tasted mostly like deep-fried cream cheese. You couldn’t much taste the chicken (oh yeah, I eat chicken now). But for a cheese lover, I wasn’t complaining. I love jalapeno poppers and these were a tasty distant cousin to those.

ImageLike a lot of chain restaurants, their menu is massive. They have an ample selection of burgers, sandwiches, salads and more. My choice was the Chicken Amber Ale, a chicken breast marinated in an amber ale marinade, Porter BBQ sauce, slaw, tomato, onion crisps, roasted tomato-chipotle mayonnaise and a pretzel bun. They had me at onion crisps and sold me at pretzel bun. The chicken was tender and well marinated, and the sandwich itself was a sloppy mess with all those sauces. It ended up being a fork and knife situation by the end.

While the food was tasty and received accolades all around, there was one big problem. Most, if not all, of the burgers came out under prepared. Medium Well came out mostly pink in at least 3 situations. Luckily, the people who received the mis-cooked burgers didn’t mind the extra bit of pink, but it seems like something they should pay a little more attention to something like that.

Most of us agreed we’d still go back, and with the comic con coming up in August, I now have a place to direct my friends when we need something to eat. It’s a much better alternative to walking down to McDonald’s or ordering a $7 pizza from the convention center.  I’d most likely steer them away from the burgers, just to be safe, but otherwise it’s a nice place to have a meal.

Plus you get to tell people you ate Armadillo Eggs, and that’s always worth the price of admission.

Rick’s Spicy Nuts

The last time I posted I mentioned a nutritionist enforced cleanse. It went about as well as one could expect when you tell someone they are only allowed to eat one vegetable a day. It turns out there’s eating healthy and there’s extremes. I chose pizza.

But that doesn’t mean I didn’t learn anything. I do actually want to be healthier and that means swapping out sugar filled granola bars with protein filled snacks like Rick Bayless’ spicy nuts.

Heh heh. I’m 12.

Chipotle-Roasted Almonds (4 cups)

  • 2 canned chipotle chiles
  • 2 Tbsp adobo sauce
  • 2 Tbsp fresh lime juice
  • 2 Tbsp ketchup
  • 1/4 cup dark brown sugar
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 4 cups (1 1/4 lbs) toasted blanched almonds

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Scoop the chipotles, adobo, lime juice, ketchup, sugar and salt into a blender and process to a smooth puree. Pour into a large bowl along with the almonds and toss until the nuts are evenly coated. Line a rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper and evenly spread the nuts on it. Bake until they are a fragrant and no longer moist, about 30 minutes, stirring occasionally. Cool the almonds on the sheet pan, then school into a serving bowl.

Pumpkin Shakes At Jamba Juice

ImageI guess calling them a shake isn’t fair. It’s technically a smoothie. But the seasonal smoothies at Jamba Juice may as well be milkshakes. Between an eggnog or a pumpkin option, they’re quickly trying to replace my eggnog shake addiction that for years belonged solely to McDonald’s. And now the pumpkin smoothie has only rekindled my love of the pumpkin pie Blizzard you could get seasonally from Dairy Queen.

But those aren’t healthy for anybody. Shoving an actual piece of pumpkin pie into a cup of already unhealthy ice cream is just a date with self loathing and disaster. DELICIOUS self loathing but self loathing nonetheless. It was like when I discovered the chocolate cake shakes at Portillos. Did the world NEED a chocolate milk shake blended with a piece of Duncan Hines chocolate cake? No! Did America make it anyways? Yes!

I would go to Portillos every other weekend with my best friend Chris and we’d order a large cake shake and just sit there happy as clams. I’d order a large cheese fries, because really when you’re on a lactose binge, go all out right? If I could have ordered mozzarella sticks covered in neon yellow cheese I probably would have. I’m not a healthy man.

But that’s why I’m actually happy Jamba Juice came out with these shakes. Sure, nothing beats the real deal of a pumpkin pie blizzard. I’m not an idiot. This shake doesn’t have piece of pie, or swirls of whip cream in it. BUT it does taste something like that original experience at half the calories (even less if you order up the light version). And they are pretty damn tasty. Granted, you don’t get a cool bracelet with one like you would with the Twilight branded Berry Midnight or whatever they’re calling it, but it’s good. And who needs Kristen Stewart sitting around looking listless while you’re trying to enjoy your drink anyhow?

The eggnog smoothie does indeed taste like eggnog, but it’s nowhere near as good as an eggnog shake. Eggnog by its very nature is gross, disgusting and REALLY unhealthy. Trying to healthify eggnog is a fruitless endeavor. You need whole cream and eggs and the feeling your heart may explode to truly enjoy it. And drinking an eggnog shake from McDonald’s gave you that experience. Of course it made it even unhealthier by adding nearly 2000 calories to it (if you got the large like I always did). So skip it. It’ll just make you sad you’re not drinking the real thing.

So long live the Jamba Juice Pumpkin Smash smoothie. I applaud it for getting me addicted to it. But I am a seasonal pumpkin drink whore. Except for you Pumpkin Latte at Starbucks. You taste like my spice cabinet full of nothing but all-spice and nutmeg exploded in my face.

This will be a change

So I went to a nutritionist yesterday and she was…intense. She told me everything I was eating was wrong, and I’m cutting that all out right now this instant. I shouldn’t have all these problems, and it’s all food based (probably not). But she gave me 54 pages in reading homework. I’m a student all over again. I haven’t read a bit of it. Some of it looks sensationalistic i.e. “HOW GLUTEN IS POISONING YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!”

But I know I need to eat better.

But can I survive a 7-day detox?

We’ll all find out real soon.

I converted all the reading to a PDF and Kindle file so I can carry it around much easier. I’m sharing it here so you can play at home with me. I’ll  make a bingo card. “No grains” will be the free space.

Disneyland & California Adventure / Sept 2012




No food in these photos, but we went to Disneyland this weekend and had ourselves a good time.

Sadly I did not buy the amazing hats you see me wearing.

What’s This Button Do?

Two Bites in Suburbia has died.

Long live Two Bites in Suburbia!

Actually…

Long live Two Bites in California!

More specifically…

Long live Two Bites in Burbankia?

I like to make up words and even I don’t know if I can give that one legs.

Sept. 1, 2012 we start this thing again.

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