My office smells like bacon. Not just a little, but as if we were hosting a bacon buffet in our tiny little encoding room. And it’s been lingering for a couple hours now. I did this. And there was no burnt pig involved.
Bacon Salt. How could salt infused with the taste of bacon possibly be good? Or vegetarian? Or kosher? The product’s website promises all three.
My friend Jen had sent me a link to the Bacon Salt website a few weeks ago, declaring that we MUST find this on the shelves somewhere. I checked out the Illinois stores that offered it up, but they were all in suburbs that even I’m not anywhere near. Next stop? Amazon. They have everything, so why not try. Plus, I get free shipping thanks to their handy Prime deal. Sure enough, Amazon was listing a 3-pack for 12 bucks. But, honestly, I don’t mind tossing 99 cents towards a bag of crazy flavored chips, but I wasn’t giving 12 dollars to a wholly untested product.
Luckily, Jen found a link that said they would be happy to send out samples to people interested in trying or selling their product. I shot out an e-mail, and within the hour, I had heard from their sales department. They would have it out in the mail the next day.
And then we dined on United States Postal Service-fueled anticipation for the week until the box finally arrived last Thursday.
I just wanted to get all that out there, because I don’t want you to think I’m pandering to people who offered me up some free stuff. If their product tasted like powdered hell, I’d be the first to tell you. Hell. I’m still getting attacked for reviews I wrote almost a year ago. I’m not afraid of you internets.
I was really, really, *really* prepared to be disgusted by this. I was all set to come onto this page and declare that I found the most disgusting thing since Dorito’s “secret flavor” X-13D chips.
But holy hot damn, was I proven wrong. Be afraid Mrs. Dash, Bacon Salt is gunning for your position in the spice rack.
And I warn Mrs. Dash because ultimately, while there is salt in the Bacon Salt, there’s also plenty of other herbs and seasonings, making it more of a seasoning mix than traditional salt. On the plus side, a 1/4 teaspoon serving is only 6% of your daily sodium intake.
Created in 2007, and financed after one of the creators’ son won $5,000 on America’s Funniest Home Videos, Bacon Salt hit the market in 3 flavors: Original, Hickory and Peppered.
(I’ll let you in on a little secret before I continue. The Original was actually the least favorite out of everyone who tried it the day I brought it into the office. It turns out that there wasn’t ENOUGH bacon flavor for everyone. The winner? Keep reading.)
NOTE – Katie withheld herself from the taste test because she thought the idea of Bacon Salt was truly disgusting, and was only more turned off by the smell.
- The Smell Test
The group of us trying these out, 6 of us in total, treated this like a very scientific wine tasting. We opened each canister and let the aroma hit us. The Original flavor was subtle, but present. The Hickory, however, blew everyone away. The smell filled the room (and stayed there) with the smell of freshly cooked bacon on a weekend morning. The Peppered is exactly what it claims- a slightly punched up, peppery version of the original. Winner of the smell test…Hickory.
- The Standalone Taste Test
Next up was the standalone taste test. We licked the back of our hands and sprinkled a little of each on to the wet skin. I don’t necessarily recommend doing this unless you’re either a professional, or someone who REALLY likes to smell like bacon. That stuff lingered, even after a couple washings. Hickory, by itself was a little TOO strong for the tongue, and Original was again to subtle. Winner of the standalone taste test…Peppered.
- The Fry Test
For the final bit of taste testing we went for the closest fast food we could find that would benefit from tasting more like bacon…McDonald’s French Fries. Again, I don’t recommend everyone doing this, because even three small French fries (and a Shamrock shake) ended up being my entire meal for the day. Apparently 3 IS the magic number if the magic number is the answer to the question “How many small bags of McDonald’s fries does it take to make you nauseas and pray for death?”
We laid out some paper towels, and dumped each bag into its own pile, generously sprinkling the Bacon Salt onto each pile. Behind the piles were placed the respective flavors so we couldn’t get them confused.
Not surprisingly, the natural fry flavor overpowered the Original, and the Peppered just added a nice little kick to the fries. But again, Hickory smoked (HAR!) the competition. Winner of the Fry Test…Hickory
For those of you playing at home the final tally was: Hickory – 2, Peppered – 1, Original – 0. In the case that Hickory cannot fulfill its duties as the best tasting the Bacon Salts, the duty will then pass onto Peppered.
Other things I can guarantee Hickory Bacon Salt tastes good on:
Vegan Chicken Soup!
Things that Jen swears it also tastes good on:
I cannot vouch for these things, only because I refuse to try bacon grapes. I will try many a thing, but not bacon grapes. NOT BACON GRAPES!
In summation, and in conclusion, Hickory Bacon Salt. It’s effin’ awesome.
As an added bonus to my dozens and dozens of readers, I will be giving away the Bacon Salt drink cozy to a lucky winner this Friday. You have until Friday to answer this ridiculously easy question: What is the name of the Bacon Salt Facebook group?
Just send the correct answer to twobitesinsuburbia at gmail dot com by Thursday at midnight (central). I’ll announce the winner on Friday and contact them for their mailing information.