Colonial's Kitchen Sink
I wasn’t lying when I said I loved the entire idea behind a small-town place offering up some ridiculously sized meal free if you met their challenge guidelines. More than anything, they’re like the car wrecks of the eating world. Some people go to hockey games to see the fights. Some people go to Nascar to see cars go boom. I can’t turn my eyes away from the idea that someone, somewhere is trying to eat an 11 pound burger with all the fixin’s. It’s disgusting and beautiful all at the same time.
For Day 1, I thought I’d start relatively small (compared to other challenges I’d discovered) and talk about a place relatively local to me: The Colonial Cafe & Ice Cream Parlor in Naperville, IL. Anyone who lives in the area knows about the Colonial and their eating challenge. If you finish an ice cream sundae the size of a kitchen sink, you’ll earn yourself a bumper sticker. No, the sundae isn’t free, but you’ll proudly be able to advertise how for one day, you experienced one of the world’s seven deadly sins: gluttony.
And it’s a good feeling. Back in the mid-90s or so, I was actually a proud owner of the bumper sticker. My friend Dave and I decided that we would tackle it together. We knew it needed to be done. Dave and I were not the smartest people. We also challenged each other to finish off an extra-large boston shake from Sonny’s Delite in Joliet one year. Their extra-large is so big that I’ve never seen more than a dozen cups behind the counter, because no smart person EVER ORDERS ONE.
I’m still not sure how I’m neither diabetic or dead. But the Kitchen Sink. That’s what we we’re talking about.
Two whole bananas, six scoops of vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream, three toppings, covered with whipped cream, chopped nuts and a cherry.
Oh yeah. It’s two banana splits put into one sink-shaped bowl. In comparison to even the hot dog from last week it seems almost TOO easy. But, I don’t see how anyone could easily finish this by themselves without wanting to vomit, or at least curl into a fetal position by the time the last spoonful hits your lips.
But as I said, finish all that, and you earned yourself a free red and white bumper sticker declaring:
Colonial Bumper Sticker
It’s okay to be jealous. You know you want one.
Two Bites in Suburbia 
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The kitchen sink actually used to be bigger, believe it or not. It’s been a birthday tradition to take my cousin there each year for our family to share a kitchen sink, and this year we noticed that there was an extra metal tray inside the “sink” that made it smaller. Not that we needed the extra couple hundred calories of ice cream, but it was just interesting to note that they’re smaller-and the same price as before!
Ya know…when I was a little kid, we had one of the kitchen sinks as a special treat for my AYSO soccer team. Most kids would have been delighted sitting down in front of that sink armed with a spoon and an appetite. Not me, though! I cried and cried and cried cuz there wasn’t enough chocolate ice cream. There was too much going on as far as I was concerned. I am still a little scarred from it, frankly.